1932
Helen
2023
Helen Alessi
November 30, 1932 — December 3, 2023
Our mom, Helen Alessi, died peacefully on Sunday, December 3rd, three days after her 91st birthday, the victim of an awful disease. She was formally diagnosed in 2014 with Alzheimer
’
s which had already begun its cruel stealing of her sweet, old memories and the new memories from the family that loved her. Our mother had no other health issues and If not for Alzheimers, we would’t be writing this today. “Who are you calling old?” she’d say. She would have enjoyed every day until she was at least 100.
Mom was born in Chicago to John and Elizabeth Bogdan on November 30, 1932. The youngest of many Helens in an Irish family, her nickname became “Babe”. Everyone called her Babe, and she was Grandma Babe to her grandkids…but one risked “the glare” if you dared call her “Baby Helen.” Our memories begin after she married our Dad, Joe Alessi, and the family grew to four daughters- Cindy, Marie, Rosanne and Jennifer, 8 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.
Helen was a homemaker, meaning she never got a vacation or a break. After school we’d innocently ask, “What’s for dinner, Mom?” Her short answer “food” was something we never understood until we all grew up… and realized that a dinner menu, when revealed too soon, elicits unwelcome opinions from the troops. We never needed to ask on spaghetti day…we knew the second we got home there’d be sauce and bread to tide us over ’til dinner. Even though she wasn’t Italian by birth, she taught herself to cook like a real Italian mom.
We always laughed when mom asked us if we were “planning on cleaning up,” about one minute after we scattered our toys to play, and our house was always clean…cleaner than most other peoples’ houses.
That didn’t mean mom was too serious or wasn’t ready to play. Babe was always up for fun with us, often when dad was working or traveling. Mom joined in the fun as we made our crazy home movies, and going along with whatever silliness was asked of her . In the blizzard of 1967, our Dad was stranded, so Mom was at home with only us and a big bag of potatoes. While others recall trying to shovel themselves out of their homes, we remember our Mom making the most delicious homemade French fries ever!
Mom was always a ready volunteer at many school functions, but she drew the line when the high school band fundraiser had us “rotating” chickens…she sent dad with us to the smelly coop for that one! Mom was always herself, and proud of it-“I’m no phony baloney!” She said what she thought but without a hint of meanness. One family legend happened at dinner in a nice restaurant in St Louis. Dad said something she took issue with, and just as the waiter leaned in with the check, she blurted out “your ass!” We still laugh- and she would too- at the thought of dad’s face when the waiter sheepishly slunk away.
Taking care of a loved one with dementia carries a heavy toll, emotionally and financially. Our Dad did his best as primary caregiver at home, but the burden and stress no doubt was too much, and we lost him suddenly in early 2017. For the past 5 years, Mom’s care was in the hands of the wonderful people at Chapters Assisted Living in Bartlett. Babe maintained her cheery disposition always, telling everyone that she loved them, happily singing “You are my sunshine” and “I and Sy” until the very end.
Per her wishes, she will be cremated and interred with our father. She didn’t want a funeral or service- no Irish Wake for her. To those of you who knew and loved her, she’d have much rather you think of her and smile at her memory. We love you mom, very much, and a day won’t go by without thinking of you and missing your voice, your smile and cherishing all that you gave us. RIP, Babe.
Mom was born in Chicago to John and Elizabeth Bogdan on November 30, 1932. The youngest of many Helens in an Irish family, her nickname became “Babe”. Everyone called her Babe, and she was Grandma Babe to her grandkids…but one risked “the glare” if you dared call her “Baby Helen.” Our memories begin after she married our Dad, Joe Alessi, and the family grew to four daughters- Cindy, Marie, Rosanne and Jennifer, 8 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren.
Helen was a homemaker, meaning she never got a vacation or a break. After school we’d innocently ask, “What’s for dinner, Mom?” Her short answer “food” was something we never understood until we all grew up… and realized that a dinner menu, when revealed too soon, elicits unwelcome opinions from the troops. We never needed to ask on spaghetti day…we knew the second we got home there’d be sauce and bread to tide us over ’til dinner. Even though she wasn’t Italian by birth, she taught herself to cook like a real Italian mom.
We always laughed when mom asked us if we were “planning on cleaning up,” about one minute after we scattered our toys to play, and our house was always clean…cleaner than most other peoples’ houses.
That didn’t mean mom was too serious or wasn’t ready to play. Babe was always up for fun with us, often when dad was working or traveling. Mom joined in the fun as we made our crazy home movies, and going along with whatever silliness was asked of her . In the blizzard of 1967, our Dad was stranded, so Mom was at home with only us and a big bag of potatoes. While others recall trying to shovel themselves out of their homes, we remember our Mom making the most delicious homemade French fries ever!
Mom was always a ready volunteer at many school functions, but she drew the line when the high school band fundraiser had us “rotating” chickens…she sent dad with us to the smelly coop for that one! Mom was always herself, and proud of it-“I’m no phony baloney!” She said what she thought but without a hint of meanness. One family legend happened at dinner in a nice restaurant in St Louis. Dad said something she took issue with, and just as the waiter leaned in with the check, she blurted out “your ass!” We still laugh- and she would too- at the thought of dad’s face when the waiter sheepishly slunk away.
Taking care of a loved one with dementia carries a heavy toll, emotionally and financially. Our Dad did his best as primary caregiver at home, but the burden and stress no doubt was too much, and we lost him suddenly in early 2017. For the past 5 years, Mom’s care was in the hands of the wonderful people at Chapters Assisted Living in Bartlett. Babe maintained her cheery disposition always, telling everyone that she loved them, happily singing “You are my sunshine” and “I and Sy” until the very end.
Per her wishes, she will be cremated and interred with our father. She didn’t want a funeral or service- no Irish Wake for her. To those of you who knew and loved her, she’d have much rather you think of her and smile at her memory. We love you mom, very much, and a day won’t go by without thinking of you and missing your voice, your smile and cherishing all that you gave us. RIP, Babe.
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